The intersection of Yoga and Life

I have a Facebook Fan page for the yoga studio I own, Cosmic Dog Yoga. I use the status update feature to give my yogis an inspiring quote each day. Recently, I ran out of material and thought I would do an inspirational little series on the yamas and niyamas, or yoga philosophy. I have a handy little book that assists me in this.

This morning, I woke up and was blearily walking the dog to the front door to get me the paper when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I turned to find that my son had left an open marker on the couch all night, and it had bled out all over the denim. Basically, the couch is ruined -- it's about a 5 inch round brown stain on my nice sectional couch. To say I was not pleased would be the understatement of the year. I go into all sorts of black cloud-y thoughts like "are everyone's kids this disrespectful of their stuff?" and so forth...

Then I sat down to write my quote on the Cosmic Dog page. Lo and behold, guess what day we are on? Aparigraha, the yama of non-greediness, not hoarding, not holding on to possessions. The spirit of renunciation. The affirmation? "May I learn to let go of possessions; give up wanting, cravings and obsessions."

Ya gotta laugh, huh? Ok, Universe, thanks. I'm listening.

I just really like this.



Farm Food

I joined a new CSA (community supported agriculture) farm. Several years ago, I was a member of Full Belly Farm, but I had to pick up the boxes in Fremont. I loved it, but finally driving to Fremont every single Saturday just got me down. We have a great Farmer's Market in Livermore and I figured I'd just be religious about going there and getting my local veggies.

I go to the Farmer's Market. But I'm not very creative - I get the same things every single week. Red hearted strawberries. Brentwood corn. Blah, blah, blah. I tend to get too much of one thing, and I never branch out.

So a few weeks ago, when I saw a booth there for a CSA in Pleasanton, I was excited!! And I joined the Terra Bella CSA! I picked up my first box last week, which contained: tomatoes, onions, peppers, cucumbers, nectarines, lettuce, snow peas, zucchini - and some artisan bread made from these veggies.

This week we have had fajitas, homemade spaghetti sauce, tomato and cucumber sandwiches, fresh onions on our chicken burgers, zucchini and shrimp, salad -- and I'm still waiting for some enlightenment about what to do with the snow peas!

Here's what I love about farm food. 1. It keeps me organized and forces me to make menus for the week in order to use it all. 2. It keeps me from going out to eat as much, because I know we have to eat at home in order to use it all and 3. I know I'm eating healthier, lower-calorie food that is better for the planet because it's grown locally.

The only downside to this particular CSA is that they want you to pay for the entire season up front - and they operate from April to November. So start saving now, so you can pay your $600 or so dollars in April and then eat healthy, yummy food all summer next year.

Journaling

So the other day my oldest asked me "Is this a day that you want to journal, mom?"

I said "um, no, honey". I was busy doing something and briefly wondered where in the world that question came from.

Hours later, I remembered a conversation we'd had. Awhile back he became interested in journaling and was asking me if I kept a journal. I said that I did and showed it to him. He asked me if I wrote in it every day and I confessed that journaling was something I usually did when I was in a really bad, foul mood -- and that I normally didn't feel like journaling if I was happy.

Oh. I get it. An 8 year old versed in nuance.

It's Over

I'm done with chasing the sleep apnea miracle.

For a recap: I got diagnosed with Moderate Sleep Apnea. Got a CPAP machine - had myriad problems with it, trying to get online support. Finally met the sleep doctor four weeks after diagnosis (I'm in Livermore; she's in Sunnyvale - about an hour with no traffic). She basically said I could mess around with my machine to get better results; said that the machine I have probably won't work for me; and said that the insurance would want to see me use it for 8 hours a night for a month straight before they would acknowledge it wasn't working and get me the right one. So my quest was to get up to 8 hours on the CPAP machine. Problem? After 3 hours, I wake up bloated and in massive pain because all of the air has been pumped into my body. Online support says that many people don't know they have GERD (reflux) until they get on a machine and find that their esophageal muscles are not preventing air from going into their body.

So I called the ENT. Had to wait 5 weeks for an appointment, during which time I have not used the machine and just resigned myself to feeling crappy 90% of the time. So, after waiting 5 weeks for an appointment, I went today - only to be informed that the doctor was running 45 minutes late because they had a "walk in". Well, gosh, if I'd known you could "walk in" I would have just done that, 5 weeks ago!!

Doctor basically didn't listen to a thing I said - told me that the sleep doctors don't know what they are talking about because they haven't actually LOOKED down my throat and that they should have referred me to him first. He looked down my nose and throat with his handy dandy little camera, proceeded to tell me what was wrong with me (exactly what the sleep doctor had told me) and then said that I needed UPPP surgery. This surgery is painful, has a very low success rate, and can make permanent damage that makes it hard to ever get any treatment at all.

I said "what about an evaluation for GERD?" - which, of course, is why I went in the first place, because I'd like to use my CPAP machine, thank you. He says 'oh. Well, who knows? There could be lots of reasons why air is getting into your body with the CPAP. Let's just do the surgery."; gave me the scheduling card and waltzed out the door.

I'm now officially out of options. This has been my worst ever medical experience. I have an ENT who won't listen; a sleep doctor who is an hour away and thinks I should just "tinker" around with my machine; no follow up from anyone and no support.
I can't use the CPAP and I won't get the surgery.

The best I can do now is to use good makeup and tap my toes to keep myself awake. That'll have to do.

The Great Outdoors

So last night we did a yoga demonstration at the Farmer's Market here in Livermore. It was over 100 degrees, and we got put right under a huge shady oak tree, right in front of the band. Blues music was playing, we had God's heated yoga room to play in and it was really cool to do a yoga practice outside. However, my allergies really kicked in about halfway through the night. More dripping was going on from my nose than from my sweat glands, and that's saying a lot!! I was trying to hand out brochures and having huge sneezing fits - I must have sneezed 1,000 times without exaggeration!!

So today Laurie and I wanted to have a meeting after morning yoga classes to talk about our business plan. We had the little ones, so she said maybe we could just go to the park. I know they needed to be entertained, but after a looooonnnngg stuffy and miserable night with my allergies, I wasn't so sure about the park. I suggested Parti Palooza, an indoor bouncy house place, to which Laurie just shook her head and said "never again". (What? I love Parti Palooza!!)

Anyway, we agreed on a shady park where there is lots of water for the kids to play. I sneezed all the way there. (This is after neti pot, Nasonex and a Benadryl this a.m.). We settled in to the park, ate our lunch and the kids had fun while Laurie and I talked.

On the way back to Livermore, Quinn said "Mommy, you have something on your back". So I felt around and picked off something that felt like a thick piece of yarn. Brought it around to look at it and it was --- A BIG FAT WORM!!! On me! Ewwwwww. I screamed (like a pansy girl) and flicked him into my cupholder, where he happily played until we got home (500 sneezes later) and I put him out on one of our plants. I'm now convinced that there are more worms crawling all over me, even though there is really no evidence of it.

Can I understand it when people wax poetic about their relationship with nature? Sure. But I'll take Parti Palooza any day, thanks anyway.

summer update

haha...I'm now so bad at blogging you only get a seasonal update! Facebook has usurped you, Google!!

Anyway, we have had such a busy summer so far. We spent a week in Minneapolis seeing family and attending a family reunion. Then came home for a busy week of Boy Scout Camp, followed by a week down at my mom's (at the beach) with Laurie and her kids. What a whirlwind. Last week Ethan did fencing camp (which he loves, what boy doesn't want to play with swords?) and this week Sports camp. After this, we will have 3-4 weeks of blissful nothing. Quinn would not attend any camps and I got my money back for all the ones I'd planned. Little poophead.

My therapy business is going well -- I signed up for some additional couples training this next year. Trying to convince an old colleague of mine to let me supervise her while she finishes the hours she never finished - that would be a fun experience for me. Also found out my supervisor for yoga therapy might be considering a move to Minneapolis, which would be cool for two reasons: 1) I might see her again sometime in my life and 2) if I ever move there, I could maybe join her practice, or at least have someone to refer people to me! That's kind of cool...

The yoga studio is struggling along. July is looking up to be our WORST month EVER. We are at the Farmer's Market this Thursday and hoping that helps a lot. Pretty soon I'll just keel over from the stress of worrying about this baby!!

I'm not sleeping. I haven't used my machine in a month, because I wake up after three hours bloated with air, almost to the point of wanting to cry! I have an appointment with the ENT next week to see if I have GERD, which would explain why the air is going into my body rather than circling back out. What a pain this whole thing is...

And now you know more about me than you ever really wanted to know....wish I had something intelligent to talk about...