The Great Outdoors

So last night we did a yoga demonstration at the Farmer's Market here in Livermore. It was over 100 degrees, and we got put right under a huge shady oak tree, right in front of the band. Blues music was playing, we had God's heated yoga room to play in and it was really cool to do a yoga practice outside. However, my allergies really kicked in about halfway through the night. More dripping was going on from my nose than from my sweat glands, and that's saying a lot!! I was trying to hand out brochures and having huge sneezing fits - I must have sneezed 1,000 times without exaggeration!!

So today Laurie and I wanted to have a meeting after morning yoga classes to talk about our business plan. We had the little ones, so she said maybe we could just go to the park. I know they needed to be entertained, but after a looooonnnngg stuffy and miserable night with my allergies, I wasn't so sure about the park. I suggested Parti Palooza, an indoor bouncy house place, to which Laurie just shook her head and said "never again". (What? I love Parti Palooza!!)

Anyway, we agreed on a shady park where there is lots of water for the kids to play. I sneezed all the way there. (This is after neti pot, Nasonex and a Benadryl this a.m.). We settled in to the park, ate our lunch and the kids had fun while Laurie and I talked.

On the way back to Livermore, Quinn said "Mommy, you have something on your back". So I felt around and picked off something that felt like a thick piece of yarn. Brought it around to look at it and it was --- A BIG FAT WORM!!! On me! Ewwwwww. I screamed (like a pansy girl) and flicked him into my cupholder, where he happily played until we got home (500 sneezes later) and I put him out on one of our plants. I'm now convinced that there are more worms crawling all over me, even though there is really no evidence of it.

Can I understand it when people wax poetic about their relationship with nature? Sure. But I'll take Parti Palooza any day, thanks anyway.

summer update

haha...I'm now so bad at blogging you only get a seasonal update! Facebook has usurped you, Google!!

Anyway, we have had such a busy summer so far. We spent a week in Minneapolis seeing family and attending a family reunion. Then came home for a busy week of Boy Scout Camp, followed by a week down at my mom's (at the beach) with Laurie and her kids. What a whirlwind. Last week Ethan did fencing camp (which he loves, what boy doesn't want to play with swords?) and this week Sports camp. After this, we will have 3-4 weeks of blissful nothing. Quinn would not attend any camps and I got my money back for all the ones I'd planned. Little poophead.

My therapy business is going well -- I signed up for some additional couples training this next year. Trying to convince an old colleague of mine to let me supervise her while she finishes the hours she never finished - that would be a fun experience for me. Also found out my supervisor for yoga therapy might be considering a move to Minneapolis, which would be cool for two reasons: 1) I might see her again sometime in my life and 2) if I ever move there, I could maybe join her practice, or at least have someone to refer people to me! That's kind of cool...

The yoga studio is struggling along. July is looking up to be our WORST month EVER. We are at the Farmer's Market this Thursday and hoping that helps a lot. Pretty soon I'll just keel over from the stress of worrying about this baby!!

I'm not sleeping. I haven't used my machine in a month, because I wake up after three hours bloated with air, almost to the point of wanting to cry! I have an appointment with the ENT next week to see if I have GERD, which would explain why the air is going into my body rather than circling back out. What a pain this whole thing is...

And now you know more about me than you ever really wanted to know....wish I had something intelligent to talk about...

yes, I'm alive ... sigh.

I know, this blog is sorely neglected. I remember when I used to sit down at my computer just to do fun things. Those days are surely gone.

I'm pretty fried with life right now. I went to my church convention two weeks ago and fell in love with Jesus all over again. Came home with all kinds of mighty plans to keep the fire stoked and one by one, they have all been dismantled. You mean I have to keep this relationship going all by myself? I have to stoke the fires myself? ahem. I guess so. There will not be cultivation of new friendships I made at convention (no time). There will not be more consistent attendance at church (well, maybe a little). Apparently there isn't room in my life - or in my family's life - for me to add more activities. We are already stretched to the limit.

So for any of you who think you have a great business idea; for anyone who sees a gap in the opportunity market that just has to be filled! You have a dream, you say? Call me up and I'll tell you what it's like to own a business (or two). I'll tell you all about how you start a business doing something you love and all of a sudden, you don't have time for the thing you loved, only for the business details. I'll tell you how to enjoy going to lunches with your friends and the park with your kids and whole days reserved for worship -- cuz you won't have time to do that after.

Ah, but maybe my negativity has something to do with the fact I haven't slept for weeks? And might not for many more? Yup, that could have something to do with it. And that we have MRSA again? Oh yeah, that might be part of my pessimism too. My husband reminds me often that things could be worse. But then, he sleeps at night.

How are your Priorities?

I have been asking my clients to do a project lately, and I've decided I need to take my own medicine and do the project myself. I'm writing this because it is so profound that I think it might be a good project for all of us.

You see, I have people coming into my office who say their relationship is the most important thing and they don't want to lose it, but each week they insist that they had no time whatsoever to spend time together and develop a closer bond. When questioned, we find out that there was time for watching TV, playing video games, vacuuming, Facebooking, texting....you get my drift.

So I've been asking my clients to make a list of their top 5-10 priorities in life. These are the priorities that, looking back from your deathbed if you have nurtured and developed them, will lead you to say that you have had the life you wanted and have no regrets. The big things.

Then, after making this list, live a normal week and track your time as if you were a lawyer who needed to bill each minute of your time. Take a notebook around with you and just jot down what you are doing in general each day. Much of our time is spent sleeping, doing necessary things like getting ready for the day and doing errands. We all have to go to the grocery store, do laundry and fill up our cars with gas. But after all that, there will be a certain amount of "disposable" time. Time that we have some choice about how to spend.

Take all your disposable time for the week, and then divide it up on a pie chart to see how it's spent. Compare it to your priority list. Also, look at your journal and make sure all of the non-disposable time is really non-disposable.

Of course the downfall of this practice is that once you make your priority list, the tendency is to live your tracking week differently. You could track the week first, and then make the priority list, but then you might be tempted to alter your priorities to fit your time! The bottom line is that this is only for you: try to be honest, you don't have to show it to anyone!!

I've been struggling just to make my priority list. That, in itself, can be a good exercise. But I can already see where this is going. I already suspect that my top priority, connection and relationship with God, is way down the list in terms of time spent.

I'd love to hear about your adventures!!

sleep, and other non-essentials

My poor blog is sadly ignored these days - so sorry, reader! I am finding my schedule to be more and more difficult to keep up with, but there aren't any frivolous things I can cut out.

Also, I've recently been diagnosed with Moderate Obstructive Sleep Apnea. For the past three years, I have been so tired and also have had difficulty losing weight. The first time I mentioned it to my doctor, she actually laughed! She laughed and said "honey, we're ALL tired and fat! This is America!". Well. I didn't pursue this with my doctors, but each time I went for something else, I mentioned how tired I was - and how healthy I was eating and seeing no results. The answer was always the same -- I was doing too much, I was stressed, I needed to slow down. It's legitimate advice - after all, I've opened two businesses in the past two years. Still.

I was convinced something was wrong with my thyroid. Although the original tests showed nothing, the research I've done shows that the most common tests for thyroid sometimes don't catch the problem. Recently I've changed doctors to a young, hip guy. He wouldn't do the more extensive thyroid test until I agreed to a sleep study. Um, okay. I sleep about 10 hours a night (yes, TEN) and still wake up tired. Sleep isn't my problem, being tired AFTER I sleep is my problem! I was just waiting for the results so I could actually get the tests I wanted.

Well, the results came -- I wake up between 25 and 45 times an hour - yeah AN HOUR - depending on what stage of sleep I'm in. Yikes. No wonder I've been so tired!! So now begins the long process of feeling better. First I had to wait 3 weeks for those results. Then I had to go back in for another overnight study where I wore a face mask and they tracked data to see what kind of air pressure relieved my symptoms. Now I wait another three weeks for the doctor to analyze that data, before driving down to San Jose (again) to talk with her about the results.

Then, and only then, can I get the prescription for the mask and machine I will wear while sleeping. Most people say it takes about 3 weeks to get used to wearing it, and that's only if you've gotten the right mask for your face, etc. So I'm about 6 weeks off from good sleep. I've been exhausted for three years now. I've been just pushing through it because I figured everyone was right, I just did too much. Now that I know what it is, though, I'm not really coping very well. I want relief, like now. Tonight. At the same time, I'm a little sad at the prospect of a nighttime face mask for the rest of my life. It will be a journey, that is for sure. One that I hope ends with feeling like a normal person again.

Happy Earth Day!

Easter!

We had a great Easter Egg Scavenger hunt this morning!! The Easter Bunny sure did leave some fun clues for the boys, and they are old enough to figure them out now. So, we're off to sit quietly in church with our sugar high! haha.

Seriously, though, can I vent about the state of parenting today? Yesterday we went to the Downtown Easter Egg Hunt for Livermore. I had talked to the boys all the way down about how if they even got one egg, they should be happy, and if they got 3 or 4, they should stop and let other kids get some. So we got there, and of course there is a crowd at the "starting gate". I felt like I was in the way, so I told the boys that they would be letting the 0-3 year olds go first, and that they should listen to the directions and go after the littler kids had their chance. I stepped off a ways to take their picture. So the little kids get their turn and finally the lady says it's time for everyone. I'm looking through my camera lens and - I don't see my kids. I started to get a bit worried as the crowd thinned out (they were near the front). I looked up and saw my kids craning their necks, trying to find me to see if it was alright if they went now. I'm having trouble letting go of the image of their polite little faces, waiting to get permission to go. I yelled to them "go! go!" -- but it was too late. All the eggs were gone by then. The lady running it was yelling through her bullhorn "If you have more than 6 eggs, share!". I kept passing parents whose kids had 20, 30 eggs in their basket, and my poor little guys standing there with nothing. I complained to the lady, who had an extra stash and gave my boys three eggs each. But they didn't find them! I was so upset. I passed a few parents that I like, looked down to see their kids had mounds of eggs in their basket.

I have to say, I'm disturbed. Am I raising my boys to be too polite??