thank goodness for yogic breathing

So today the kids were with me while I worked a shift at Cosmic Dog. They had to be there for four hours, in the daycare, and they did so well, and really helped the babysitter. I was so proud of them! I had promised them I'd take them to McDonalds and let them actually play in the playplace, so off we went.

When we're done, we're getting in the car in the parking lot. I've got leftover food and jackets in my hands, trying to snap my little one in, and the car next to us is parked way too close and I'm trying not to scratch their paint. Finally, we are ready to go. I slam and door and instantly scream. It takes me a moment to realize that my finger is shut in the door. Then there's that few moments where you are flummoxed at what you should do next. I pull slightly, but my finger doesn't come out. Finally, that voice in my head kicks in that says OPEN THE DOOR!!! And I do.

I'm still making noises as I sit down in my seat and look down. Blood everywhere, my kids see it too, and they start freaking out. I calm down - for their sake - but I'm thinking this is pain that is about as bad as any I've ever felt. I feel myself wanting to just pass out on the way home, but instead I go inside.

This is where I'm thankful for training in meditation and yogic breathing. I try to stay out of the story in my head. I try to experience only what I'm experiencing, without adding any layers of suffering on the top. I breathe deep, matching my inhales to my exhales. And once again, yoga and meditation comes through for me. I made it home, taped up my finger and put ice on it. It was already black and blue. An hour or so ago, I accidentally bent the top joint and pain streamed through my body again. I don't know if it's broken, and I'm afraid to look. So I just continue to breathe.....